April 21, 2008

The conservative t-shirt industry must die

Exhibit 1. Darsh with a shotgun. Proudly posed as if to say "Get your hands off me, you damned dirty gun-grabbers!", this gentleman is doing his best to disenchant the liberal elite of their delusions of gun owners as uncivilized, unhealthy, irresponsible alcoholics.

Exhibit 2. Free-spirit conservative. Who needs a comb... or a brush... or showers... or to pay attention to the camera?

Exhibit 3. Not that kind of girl. This young conservative's body is saying "let's go" / but her heart is saying "no."

Exhibit 4. Damsel in distress. Judging by the provocative positioning of her hands inside her totally hip distressed pants, this young lady is sending a message that not all conservatives are chaste, innocent home schoolers (cf. Exhibit 3).

Exhibit 5. Belly shirt. Bare midriff = hottest [junior high] style ever.

Exhibit 6. Space alien. This model earned her fame by proving that it is possible to be more frightening than Ann Coulter.

Exhibit 7. History lesson. Although it may be true that America needs more shirts which can convey, in twelve seconds worth of reading, the complexities of every American military occupation overseas since 1944, this shirt will fail miserably because (1) they stole the font and colors from a monster truck logo and (2) the photographer's focus was her butt, not the shirt.

Exhibit 8. Party girls. These young ladies want to nuke the moon. And get drunk and make out with each other in front of guys.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

bare midriff is always sexy on girls/women with flat belly...

June 17, 2011 at 8:49 AM 

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