There's a bit in the new Aziz Ansari standup special (which, BTW, is fantastic) where he refers to meaningless Wikipedia surfing as "Joe Pesci research." I can't find the bit online yet, but here's the gist at the end of this Letterman clip:
That got me thinking about my own meaningless internet searches. I went back into my history for the past couple days just to see what sort of dumb stuff I search for. Here's a slightly abridged history, starting with the most recent:
aziz ansari youtube aziz ansari joe pesci joe pesci research russel westbrook (sic) waterloo blackhawks USHL bemidji state beavers wauxobda bulldogs big pimpin iso sensitivity conan on letterman maggie q baseball night in america bemidji pioneer iphone bemidji pioneer app bemidji pioneer grandmas boy james lipton
As you can clearly see, the Internet was created by Satan for the sole purpose of making us waste time looking up dumb stuff.
At least it's dead when it comes to sharing items, which was one of the primary functions for me. The sharing options transformed it into a tight-knit, and effective information sharing community. A place for swapping animated .GIFS, silly news, and serious journalism updates. Now it's just a utilitarian tool for keeping track of my internet habits. It kind of sucks.
My initial rage at the integration of Reader into the now cemetery-like Google+ died down about 24 hours after the change. But I feel my friends and I are going through the withdrawal stages. Seriously, I've had so many run-ins this week where I excitedly went to share an item, only to realize the buttons to do so have vanished. The really important things I posted to Facebook, which only made me feel kind of dirty -- that's not how I want to use Facebook. And Google+ sharing lacks the simple, intuitive functionality that I prefer.
So I'm resolved to feel this way:
Actually, that image is from a fun and recurring graphic series that's popped up in my Google Reader over the past few days. I love it. I would have loved to share it with you sooner. Sry 2 say, it's not my fault.
Regardless, the world moves on and I must adapt. Perhaps this means more posts for this blog, a sliver of optimism I can pull from the fallout of this mess. Here are some other items I found interesting:
They aren't all serious shares, after all, it's kind of tough to care that much about the Bieber news (and the ever-pissy Andy Rooney death news didn't make the cut). But still, it was that mix of silly!stupid and serious shares that made going to Reader multiple times a day so much fun. For a couple of days Google was dead to me. Then I realized the middle ground, that unlike other social networking websites, Google kept the same look for years. I appreciate that, and I'll weigh that when considering my loyalty to Google (not that loyalty even matters when it comes to Google, it's fingerprints are on everything I touch).
The landscape changes, I suppose. And now that we're in this post-apocalyptic, post-Reader world, where sharing items lives in the black market of random emails and annoying Facebook spam, my mind turns to this response:
If you haven't yet been to Chatroulette, here's the premise: Anyone with a webcam goes to the site and clicks "play." The site finds a random person to chat with -- also with webcam. You never know what you'll find (although if you've tried it, you know the ratio is pretty much 30 men to each woman, and that you're as likely to see man junk as ... anything else). Either person chatting can quickly click "next" and find another random person with which to chat.
Generally, I think, the site is a) worthless and b) schizo. Chatters don't stick around long and there are many, many landmines.
However, I stuck it out for about an hour the other night with Riviera helping me quickly convey that I was interested in genuine (random) chatting. The screenshot above shows when we found another webcam that was focused on a fluffy dog. I started all my chats with the camera pointed at Riviera and tried to initiate genuine conversations.
Ultimately I made a penpal friend from Puerto Rico. I also met a college kid in Utah, a gritty fella from Lisbon, and at least three other dogs!
This is no endorsement, but I think chatroulette is at least a one-time adventure worth trying. You never know, you could run into Snoop Dog.
I recently received a mass e-mail forward through Katie's grandfather. That is not news, as it happens often, and has turned me on to "Chocolate Rain" and something about ospreys, etc. But this time, he sent me the Chris Bliss juggling video, most likely (and unfortunately) the most-viewed juggling video ever. But P-Pop was years late on this mass e-mail. I was appalled. I thought he was ahead of the curve, but that video has long since peaked in popularity.
So I set out to blow his mind, first with a better juggling video and then with Youshouldhaveseenthis.com. (Of note, that site shouldn't mock the old for not watching online videos.) I hope that sending it doesn't turn off the mass e-mail faucet for good.
I went immediately to my YouTube favorites, but knowing the preferences of the senior audience was more difficult than at first expected. Novelty felt more important than skill; brevity, clarity, and glitz more important than art and expression.
Maybe I would just send a juggling video featuring a friend, and get that video a few dozen (hundreds, thousands?) of hits.
I decided to send two skilled videos that are also accessible. First, KUKA, a passing video with music and color choreography emphasis. Then, Cigarette Tricks '09, for its old-fashioned pizazz.
I'll soon post whatever response may come. Then I'll start sending snail mail chain letters, especially the ones involving buying packs of baseball cards (anyone? anyone?).
In hopes of starting a high-quality forwardable e-mail, I held to strict standards of WRITING IN ALL CAPS and including an animated gif (in this case an animated lobster Gmail emoticon).
It's probably been ten years since I last checked out the aerial photography on Microsoft's Terra Server. “Terra” is a play on words–terra as in “earth”, and tera- as in “terabyte,” a unit of measurement which was a really big deal in 1998.
The Terra Server fares better than Google Earth for most rural areas. The images are eery like Area 51 and seem more distant and magical when rendered in satellite charcoal.
Indiana, Michigan, Ohio:
Home:
Public domain photos courtesy of the United States Geological Survey.
Not so sure about tabbed browsing these days: too easy to pull 'em all up and then wait and delay reading everything. And news gets old fast, right?
Maybe not. While reading a hero story about US Airways pilot Sullenberger, the NYTimes had enough good sense to link to another hero story, that of Wesley Autrey. Reported simply, the details speak for themselves. Old news, but still spurred vocal utterings of amazement out of me...
I've used SongMeanings.net ever since the days when the RIAA was sending cease-and-desist letters for copyright infringement as fast as lyrics search sites could spring up. In my experience, it's the best resource for song lyrics on the Internet. Rarely does the comment section reveal much insight or meaning beyond what one could gather from listening to the song itself, but it's not short on entertainment.
Less popular songs typically have two or three comments saying "I can't believe no one has commented on this great song!" or "No comments? Come on guys!"
But once the ball gets rolling, a few common forms emerge:
The painfully obvious interpretation, obviously, points out a fact that is obvious. Sometimes, the commenter will without shame admit that what he or she is pointing out is, in fact, obvious.
Does anyone else find this song depressing? Maybe I'm just being weird, hmm. The supermarket is obviously some sort of metaphor for something, but I can't think of what.
The literal interpretation. The irritating thing about this type of response is that it can counter anything even the best interpretations of any song. It heaves historical, cultural, and biographical insights aside, no matter how grounded, because maybe, just maybe, it's not metaphorical in the slightest and it's just a simple song about something that happened to the author.
Maybe he really got lost in a supermarket. I did, and I couldn't find my parents, and it scared the crap outta me. But I don't think he did. Maybe you guys are onto something. This was pretty pointless, then, huh?
In a twist on the literal interpretation, some comments relate the lyrics to one's own personal experience. The profound lack of elaboration implies shared nostalgia conjured by the song.
I've gotten lost in the supermarket before.
Some people miss the point completely.
The supermarket is his happy place, like where he used to go get high or something. His life led him there, but it's lost his effect, and he doesn't know what to do anymore.
For others, every song is an existential narrative about relationship strife and loneliness.
The whole part with the getting lost in a supermarket is kind of a metaphor for the writer's life. If you're lost in a supermarket, you're trying to find someone, you know, the person you came in with. In this song, the writer kind of is saying how he's lost in the world and he's just trying to find someone he can relate to or someone who will give him attention.
Eventually, someone will pipe up with biographical or anecdotal detailsstraight from the source, which can clear up much doubt as to the song's inspiration, assuming the stories are factual.
Mick Jones wrote this song while living when he was broke and had to live with his grandmother. I believe in a recent Rolling Stone that he talks about this. Anyway, here he is, this hipster punk musician in a popular band, and he has to share a flat in the suburbs and just wallow in the lameness.
Peacemakers are common. The peacemaker puts in his or her two cents, yet not without the disclaimer "but hey, what do I know?"
I think this song was commenting on commercialism. with the lines "I've got my giant hit discoteque album" and "I can no longer shop happily" he seems to be unhappy with how commercial everything seems. But then it also has a strong theme of loneliness. Great song no matter how you look at it!
Unadulterated nostalgia is something everyone can have, but only a few bother to share.
I find this song depressing because my uncle loved this song and he's no longer with me.
Every so often, there's a serious, plausible, and coherent interpretation.
He lived his life like the commercials told him to, as in he followed all the trends thinking they had the answers ("I save coupons from packets of tea / I've got my giant hit discoteque album"). But when he wanted something substantial, personality, although modern culture promised it, it isn't there, hence is lost in the supermarket of modern culture.
There's a website called Web Pages That Suck, which, according to them, teaches good web design by looking at bad web design. Simple enough. I found it when looking for something to compare this website to. Still can't quite find anything that compares. You'd think a fairly established major league baseball player would have a website in which the flash pictures did not show up on the other tabs you're using. And maybe that a major league outfielder would use a font other than "Sand." Or is that "Chalkboard"? Or even the font that shall not be named? Either way...Christ. I already hated this guy for having the "Sizemore syndrome" among female Astro fans. But this is unforgivable.
At least he gave me more bad websites to make fun of. I mean, seriously...can anyone make sense of this?
In honor of tonight's game, I present to you the 2008 All-Star batting stances:
Yes, Batting Stance Guy probably needs more to do with his life. But then again, don't we all? He has almost every damn team on there, and he imitates them pretty well.
(I think I top that list of those who need more to do.)
Oh, and I think the NL might actually take it this year. No real reason, other than I just really like Lance Berkman these days. So let's saaaay....10-8 NL. Aramis Ramirez...no, Nate McClouth gets a go-ahead double in the 9th and then Wood closes it down in the bottom. Thoughts?
(Also, FOX is going to try and splurge all over Yankee Stadium tonight, so be ready for a sickening display.)
A creator of Rate My Cop says, “Our website's purpose is to break the stereotype that people have that cops are all bad by having officers become responsible for their actions.”
Also, listen to this recording that plays two Linkin Park songs at once, demonstrating that all Linkin Park songs sound exactly the same. Use the volume control interface on your computer to turn on and off the left or right channel, to compare one song to the “other”.
